time to go
by pamy
Summary: After man down Eric starts to work again. But slowely he beqins to realise that to much has changed. Please r
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Time to go**

Eric walked through the lab and wondered how this all could have happened.   
He knew he had walked through this lab about a 1000 times. Probably more.  
Yet he couldn't remember anyone of them. Why had this happened?

He kept walking and then stopped at firearms. Inside he saw Calleigh was  
explaining something to that woman. They told him her name was Natalia. It's  
so weird, the last thing he can remember about Calleigh is that she quit her  
job as a firearms expert. The next thing he remembers is Calleigh sitting by   
his hospital bed. He still couldn't believe that two years had passed. Two  
years he couldn't remember. Just like he couldn't remember Natalia, no  
matter how hard he tries.

Flash back

Tim Speedle was standing in front of Horatio Caine抯 office, waiting for his   
boss to arrive with the new CSI. After a couple of minutes he saw Horatio  
approaching with a young Cuban looking guy next to him .  
"Speed."  
"Hi H."  
Horatio smiled.  
"This is Eric Delko. The new guy. Eric, this is Tim Speedle, he抣l give you  
a tour of the place and he will teach you everything you need to know. OK?"  
"Ok. Lt Caine."  
Horatio smiled at the young CSI  
"I told you Eric, call me Horatio."  
"Ok, Horatio."  
Horatio walked away, leaving an awkward silence behind.  
"So." Tim said to break the silence, taking in the CSI's appearance.  
"Where you from?"  
Eric was so nervous, poor guy.  
'Well, I was born here, but my parents came from Cuba.'  
Speed frowned.  
"But Delko doesn't sound very Spanish to me."  
Eric shook his head.  
"Oh no, its Russian. It used to be Delkosky, but we changed it when we came  
to Florida"  
"Oh I see."Tim smiled. He could see Eric was still nervous.  
"Hey Eric, relax. I'm not the devil, and neither is Horatio alright? I'm  
your friend." "You are?"  
"Well, well be working together, so I think that counts." Speedle smiled at  
him, and Eric relaxed, returning his smile.

Flash

Eric sighs and kept walking. He stopped at the morgue to look at Alexx who's   
performing an autopsy. Part of him wants to walk in and talk to her. But he  
knows he can't, she'll want him to explain what's going on. Why he feels  
like this, but he can't. he wouldn't even know where to start.

He keeps walking and stops in front of the A/V lab. Inside he sees Ryan,  
Ryan...something. God, he should really ask for his last name. He was  
standing next to the computer guy, Cooper, apparently a friend of his. The  
last thing he remembers about Ryan is fighting with him, a lot. Hard to  
believe that now their friends. Just like he and Speedle were.

Flash back

Speedle and Eric are walking in circles in the DNA lab.  
"Hey you think we're going to be here forever?" Eric asked.  
"You mean working in this place or waiting for the lab results?"  
"Both."  
"Lab results will be out in 5 minutes, finally."  
"And the other thing?"  
Speedle smiles and thinks a while before answering.  
"No. one day we will move on. But right now we're were we have to be."  
"How do you know that?"  
Speedle turns to Eric.  
"Do you feel at home?"  
"Sorry?"  
"When you walk in, do you feel at home? Do you feel like you belong here?"  
"Yeah I guess so?"  
"Well so do I. When you're talking to one of use to you have a very strong  
feeling of friendship?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Me to. That means we belong here. We're ..."  
Eric finishes his sentence for him.  
"...where we have to be."  
They both smile.

Flash

Eric was standing in front of his locker, he opens it and looks at the  
pictures. Lots of them, of places he once went to. Things that once  
happened, things he said, things he did. Things he can't remember no matter  
how hard he tries. Slowly he starts to take the pictures down.  
Him and Marisol, Horatio, Calleigh and Ryan, Alexx and Calleigh,... he takes  
out his address book and all of the personal stuff. He just leaves the   
clothes. He doesn't remember wearing them, hell he doesn't remember buying  
them. They're not his. They're from another Eric. Slowly he closes the  
locker door.

He walks out and passes Alexx, who is sitting drinking coffee. Probably  
waiting for everybody else. He passes Ryan and Cooper, stops at Calleigh and   
Natalia. He debates whether he should walk in or not, when Natalia notices  
him he smiles at her. Then he continues his walk, he stops at Horatio's  
office. Maybe he should go in, to talk to him. To explain him why, maybe he  
wants Horatio convince him not to do it. He pulls out his hand to open the  
door. But he doesn't, he doesn't want to be convinced. He sighs and keeps   
walking.

Finally he stops in front of the list of names, close to the elevator. He  
stares at his name, between all of the others. Does it belong there? Should  
it still be up there? He looks at the other names and stops at Ryan Wolfe.  
Well at least he knows his last name now. He smiles.

Flash back

Eric and Speedle are standing at the elevator, waiting for it to come up.  
"So when do you think we'll move on?"  
Speedle just stares at him.  
"In the lab, you said that one day we'd move on. When do you think that will  
be?" "When it's time to go, you'll know."  
"How?"  
Speedle looks at him, thinking.  
"The day you walk in here and you feel like a stranger. The day you walk in  
and you wonder 'what am I doing here'? when you look at a job and think and  
now what? When you talk to your friends and you don't feel that friendship  
anymore then..." Silence.  
Eric waits a minute before asking  
"Then what?"  
"Maybe it's time to go."

Flash

Eric sighs and looks around. There's nobody there except for him and the   
secretary. He has made up his min. He looks at that full list one more time.  
Then he takes out his name. Slowly he walks to the secretary and leaves it  
in front of her. He takes his gun and badge and puts it on top of the name.  
"Could you, euhm..." he hesitates.  
"Yes?"  
"Could you give this to Lt. Horatio Caine please?"  
"euhm. Sure but why?..."  
He turns around without answering.  
"Would you like me to give him a message?" She asks  
Eric hesitated, then nodded.  
"Tell him that sometimes, in Miami, we do close."  
Before the secretary can say anything else he walks away.

Eric walks to the elevator while waiting for it he can hear Speedles voice  
in his head saying to him.  
"When you walk in and you feel like a stranger."  
He looks around, remembering the feeling he had when he walked in a couple  
of hours ago.  
"When you look at a case and think now what?" he can still remember  
Calleigh's look when she told him about his mistake. How devastated he felt,   
how mad he was at himself.

He looks around, from far away he sees Horatio coming and waving at him.  
Maybe he wants him to wait, he's not sure. But he won't not this time, not  
ever again. He waves back and smiles, before walking into the elevator.  
While the elevator doors close he looks one last time at the lab while still  
hearing Speedle's voice in his head.  
"Then maybe it's time to go."  
He smiles and whispers :  
"Yeah Speedle, I guess it's time to go."  
Then the elevator doors closed.


	2. let him go

**Chapter 2: let him go**

It was raining softly, almost as if the rain was showing what they all felt. Confusion about how they got here. Anger for what had happened. Sadness for what was going on. Inner battles. Some that had been shared, some that may never be shared. Although they maybe should be.

Calleigh, Ryan and Alexx were sitting at a table. Not knowing how this had all happened. So many things that happened, so many things they had shared. So many things they had talked about. And now, now that it really mattered now they had nothing to say. So many things they had done, all together including Eric. And now it was all gone. In 1 second everything had disappeared. The second he had left.

Horatio was sitting at his desk, all alone. Staring at Eric's badge, at Eric's gun. Staring at the name, not knowing what to do next. Not knowing how this had happened, why this had happened. So many cases they had worked on together, so many lives they had save. So many lives they had changed. Even their own. So many things they had gone through, first speedles dead and then...hers. Marisol. And when he really needed him, he hadn't seen it. He didn't wanted to.

Flash back

Horatio was walking through the hallway, thinking of what Calleigh had told him. Eric had made a mistake, but it was to be expected. The truth was exactly that he had expected Eric to make more mistakes. But he hadn't told Calleigh, he didn't want to worry her. The biggest worry he had was not the mistake but the fact that Eric couldn't remember the last two years.

He looked up and saw Eric standing in front of the elevator. He put his hand up, as if he was waving at him. But it was a sign for Eric to wait for him. Eric smiled and put his hand up. As if he was saying goodbye. Then he walked into the elevator. And before Horatio could do something the elevators door closed and Eric disappeared from sight.

Horatio sight, maybe Eric had not understood the sign. Maybe he had really thought Horatio was waving at him. 'Lieutenant?' he turned around to look at the secretary. 'Lt. Caine? Eric Delko asked me to give this to you.' She put three things in front of him, and as soon as he saw them he understood. Eric had not misunderstood the sigh. He simply didn't wanted to listen to it. He had just left, maybe forever. 'Did he say something?' 'Yeah, he said. Sometimes at Miami, we do close.' Horatio sighed, he understood what the message meant. Eric wasn't coming back. Tears welt up in his eyes.

Flash

Natalia was sitting on a banc in front of her closet. She couldn't think she didn't wantd to. She didn't wanted to think about Eric, about what had happened. Not know. She had lost so man things over the past couple of years, that she didn't wanted to the of the friends she was losing now. Maybe he would come back, maybe he would believe her when she would tell him the truth. Maybe.

Calleigh was walking through the lab. All alone. She couldn't believe it, she wouldn't. 4 years ago everything had been fine, 4 years ago everything had been different. Tears welt up in her eyes, but she didn't cry. She never had and she never would. She couldn't believe this was exactly happening. First she had lost Speed and now Eric was gone. She had to admit Speed's dead had brought 1good thing, if he hadn't died they might have never met Ryan. But she would have taken that change, if Speed had lived. But he didn't live, and Eric did. She had prayed so hard for him to live, she had never considered she might still lose him. Just like she had lost Speed.

Flash back

Calleigh walks into the lab, Speed and Eric were working.  
'alright, which one of you stole my crime light?' She was asking but she knew the answer, because it was always the same one. And as always Speed was the one to answer.  
'Uh, Stole is, is very negative. I, I had borrowed it and uh, I re...I re... I placed it I put it back.'  
She sighed, it was always the same, would he never change?  
'well it would have been nice if you had charged it first, I was at the scene and it flat lined.' Eric was the one that said something now, with a little smile on his face.  
'sounds like she's mad at you'  
And she was, they all three knew that. But they also knew that anger would be gone the next time they saw each other.  
'Calleigh I sincerely apologize.' 'Apology accepted. Give me yours' 'Go ahead it's in my kit.'

Flash

That conversation still brought a smile on her face. Although it was a sad smile. After all it had been the last time they had all three been together. The last conversation they had had. She couldn't help but wonder, if Speed had still been there would things have been different? Just like she couldn't help but wonder that if she hadn't pointed out Eric's mistake he maybe would have never left. Maybe.

Ryan was still sitting at the same table. But now he was alone, Alexx and Calleigh had left. They hadn't told him where they were going, and he didn't ask. He didn't understand if Eric had felt bad why hadn't he talked to one of them? Not to him but to Alexx or Calleigh. To horatio. He smiled, things would have been different if Speedle would still have been there. He smiled again, Tim speedle, the CSI. He had never told anybody else but he had exactly met Speedle, many years ago.

Flash back

A younger Ryan Wolfe arrived at a crime scene. He was not a CSI yet at this point. He was to late to see Calleigh and Horatio leave. But he was just in time to get his orders from Detective Frank Tripp before he left. He had to stay at the crime scene and assist the CSI working on the scene. He had to help him and do exactly what he said. He walked into the house, in the living room there where 2 bodies. A 3 year old girl and a guy, probably her father. He sighed, the only other person in the room (probably the CSI) looked up.

'Good morning. Tim speedle.' 'Ryan Wolfe' they shook hands. Ryan couldn't get his eyes of the bodies. 'this your first time to a crime scene, Ryan?' He heard compassion through Speedles voice. 'No, but it's my first crime scene with a kid. Does it get easier?' 'Not really no, but you learn to look past it and focus on the evidence. So that you can catch the bastard that did this, and make sure he never does it again.' 'Ok.' 'so you going to help?' 'OF course. What do you want me to do.' 'Ok, I have to sketch. So if you take pictures, I will tell you of what don't you worry.' 'ok, consider it done.' Speed smiled at him before he started to work again.

Flash

They had worked together on that crime scene, for hours. They had talked about a lot of things. Speedle had exactly thought him a lot of things about processing a crime scene. They hadn't become friends, but it was a start. After that they had worked on a couple of more cases together. Every time speed had to work on a crime scene alone he had requested for Ryan's assistance. And Ryan, if he could, always went. But one day the calls stopped and when he found out why, he had come to the station immediately. He had never told any of the others and he probably never would. If Eric would have asked him, he maybe would have told him. Maybe.

Alexx was thinking. She could have seen this coming. Eric was different. But maybe all Eric needed was time. She sighed, maybe she was lying to herself. Maybe he had changed to much. She could still see him in that hospital bed. He had reminded her of Speed, only Eric had made it. Maybe they should have gone after him when Horatio had told them he had left.

Flash back

They were all standing in the lab. Horatio had just told them Eric had left. They wanted to go after him. 'Look there's nothing wrong with him, H.' 'Mr. Wolfe...' 'No, h. apart from that one mistake...' 'He doesn't know who I am.' Everybody turned to Natalia, it was the first thing she had said all day. 'it's like he never met me. Which means that he has at least forgotten two years, maybe even more. And he needs time to get his memory back. I'm not saying I like this, none of us does. But there's nothing we can do, he just needs time. Time to heal, time to remember. Time to figure out what's going on. An when he does, he will come back. Because he loves it here, and because you're his friends. I'm not telling you what to do, but maybe just for now you should just let him go.'

Flash

Of course she was right, but it didn't make it any easier to let him go. She stopped in front of the list of names. Now missing eric's, maybe he really just needed time. Maybe he would really come back, but the sight of Eric's missing name made her doubt that. She started to cry.

Horatio was thinking about Speed's dead and about Eric getting shot. What he had done wrong with the first he had done better with the second. But it hadn't made a difference. He had still lost a CSI. A friend. He sighed, looking at the pictures on his desk. A picture of his brother, yelina and Ray jr. next to it a picture of Suzie and Madison. As if the two pictures belonged together. Then a picture of the team with Speed and next to it a picture of the team with Ryan. Like a before and after shot. Finally a picture of Jenifer Wilson and next to it a picture of Marisol. He smiled her picture sadness in his hearth. He wished she had still lived, even if it had only been to bring her to Eric when he had asked for her in the hospital. The last picture he looked at was a picture of him, Marisol and Eric taken on their wedding day.

He sighed and put Eric's gun, name and badge in his desk. He would put him on sick leave. Just in case Eric changed his mind. Just in case he wanted to come back. But whatever Eric decided to do next, he would always be his friend. Maybe he would come back. Maybe.


End file.
